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by watergator



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28414548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/watergator/pseuds/watergator
Summary: phil is the first person to read dan’s book, and that just makes dan a little more nervous
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 13
Kudos: 149





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“Thought? Feelings? Hate it, love it? Kinda wanna set fire to it?”

Phil’s shoulders are shaking with a silent laugh as he takes the mug from Dan’s offering hand, bringing the rim of the mug to his lips as he takes a long, slow sip. Honey flavoured tea, his favourite.

He looks up and Dan’s rocking on the balls of his feet, wringing his hands together, looking like he’s about to fall apart when Phil blows his lips at him playfully.

“Will you sit down?” He asks, voice a little shrill as Dan just watched him expectantly. “I’m only on the tenth page, I hardly have a… strong opinion yet.”

Dan’s whole body tensed like he’s been electrocuted.

“So you think the beginning needs to be scrapped?” His words coming rushing out all at once. “Or maybe I should rewrite it?”

Phil raises a brow at him, and Dan takes a deep breath.

“Sorry. I’m just nervous. Fuck, what if it’s not any good.”

Phil recognises the face on his boyfriend; he’s stressed, he’s unsure and he knows how hard he’s worked, and he knows about that little worm in his brain that always somehow makes it their mission to make him feel like it was all for nothing.

He sets his tea down on the floor even though Dan always tells him it’s an accident waiting to happen, and he pats the space on the sofa beside him, and Dan reluctantly flops down beside him.

“You know I’m gonna love it either way, right?” Phil says, both leaning into each other so Dan’s curls are tickling the underneath of his chin. He smells like sweat and strawberries at the same time, he thinks.

“You have to be honest with me,” Dan pouts. “I can’t publish a bad book just because you like me too much to be honest.”

Phil chuckles; the book is closed between his fingers, running through the soft, untouched pages.

“Who said anything about liking you too much?” Phil teases, and Dan pulls away to give him a rotten look. 

“Ass,” he shakes his head, leaning back into Phil’s side, shaking it a little bit when he laughs.

“Hey!” Phil’s voice goes a little high. “Be nice to me or I’ll leave a bad review on your shop. No spons from me, Daniel.”

Dan snorts, shaking his head so his curls are now tickling him across his cheek. “What happened to loving it either way?”

Phil pulls his fingers from the book to poke Dan in the side; he’s so accustomed to the action that he doesn’t even flinch.

“Dan Howell, the biggest flop,” he teases. “I can make it happen, Danny boy, I’ll make you… rub my feet for a whole year otherwise.”

Dan groans, burning his face in Phil’s shoulder.

“Don’t even joke,” he says flatly. “About flopping  _ or _ your wretched feet.”

“My feet aren’t wretched,” Phil says, a tad defensive. He brings his finger up to poke Dan gently in the head. Again, he doesn’t react.

“You won’t be a flop either,” he then adds, voice gentler now, and the finger that was once poking his head is now twirling itself around a rather prominent curl, how he usually finds himself when Dan gets like this. More so than ever with the stress of the book growing heavier and heavier on his shoulders.

“How do you know?” Dan’s voice comes muffled from where he’s still buried in Phil’s shoulder.

“Because you're you,” Phil says simply. “You’ve never flopped at anything.”

Dan pulls his head up a little too fast, his cheeks are flushed but he looks at Phil with an uncertain expression.

“Mate,” he says in a dead serious tone. “I literally flopped at  _ everything _ .”

He holds his hand out to count off his list on his fingers.

“Uni, youtube, running, being a functional human fucking being. I’m literally a living example of a flop. Put me in the fuckin’ natural history museum because I think I’m the first human to flop so hard. And that’s not me making a dick joke, by the way.”

Phil’s laughing softly at him, taking his hand and sandwiching it between his.

“Dan,” he says softly. “You didn’t flop. They just didn’t work out.”

“I dropped out of uni,” Dan says flatly.

“You chose something more meaningful to you.” Phil counters.

“I haven’t made a YouTube video in over a year,” Dan tries again.

But Phil just shrugs nonchalantly. “You chose your mental health over work.”

“What about running then?” Dan challenges.

Phil rolls his eyes. “We’re in a pandemic, idiot. You couldn’t even run if you wanted to. It’s not your fault the marathon was cancelled.”

Dan sighs, looking slightly defeated but also like he’s finally understanding what Phil is saying at the same time.

“What if the book does flop though?” Dan asks, brows knitted together as he chews the inside of his cheek enough that Phil’s afraid it’ll start to wear away.

He’s still got his hand in his, and he gives it a gentle squeeze.

“If it flops, doesn’t mean you flop. I’ll still love it and I’ll still love  _ you.  _ So will everyone else.”

Dan’s whole body seems to relax, letting out a heavy sigh as he looks down to where they’re still holding hands.

“You’re kind of a sappy git, you know that right?” He croaks, and Phil laughs. 

“Can’t help it, kinda in love, mate.”

Dan looks at him with a shake of his head. “That’s really, super gay. Now let me go so I can make myself a tea, I think I’ve deserved it.”

Phil does let his hand go, and Dan stands, turning to the direction of the kitchen as Phil picks up the book again, and flips to the next page.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi on tumblr !! @watergator


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